Lacking in self-confidence? Don't come to Nigeria

I have had to develop a very thick skin. To say that people here are direct would be an understatement. Some choice comments I have received:

• You’re looking even whiter today, how?
• Your face is all shiny, apply some powder
• Is that a big spot on your chin?
• You’re sweating
• Your hair is looking messy. Park it up on your head where it will look better
• Why are you so red?
• You are too old to not be married, if you leave it any longer no man will want to marry you
• Your left leg is bigger than your right leg, do you have polio?
• You look really tired today
• Your legs are so scarred from bites, they look very bad

So there’s no room for being sensitive here, honesty is definitely considered to be the best policy.

I finally solved the problem with my electricity at the end of last week. I hadn’t had any for two weeks, which didn’t really bother me too much initially because I just charged my laptop and phone at work, but sitting in the dark did start to get a bit wearing. The electricity supply is by no means reliable, but I did used to have it for a couple of hours for a few evenings each week. And then I noticed the other evening that my neighbours seemed to have lights on. And I couldn’t hear generators going. Interesting. And then when I combined that with the fact that a couple of the people who ‘run’ my compound aren’t the most honest individuals I’ve ever met, and keep coming to ask me for money for various fictitious things, one of which involved a false electricity bill, I started to get suspicious. Sure enough, when I mentioned to the landlady that everyone else seemed to have electricity except for me, and then said the same thing to the security guard, and reinforced that I wouldn’t be giving any money for a false electricity bill, because electricity was included in my rent, my electricity magically came back on. Funny that. I was speaking to a colleague at work about the electricity situation, and she was saying how much worse it is now than it was when she was growing up. She explained that 10 years ago, whilst the electricity was never on all of the time, it was far more reliable than it is now, and if there was going to be an interruption to the electricity supply they would announce it on the local radio so that people knew in advance. It’s depressing that it’s got so much worse rather than having improved.

I’ve gradually noticed that the things that I found strange when I arrived here now just seem normal. So normal that I’ve just stopped noticing them. Here are some examples:

• No longer knowing the real colour of my feet
• Sleeping without any top sheet/cover. It’s just too damn hot
• Drinking all my water out of a plastic bag
• Sharing the back seat of a normal sized car with at least 3 other people, and possibly a baby and a small child as well
• Sweating continuously for 24 hours all day every day
• Washing my clothes in a bucket
• Flushing the toilet with a bucket
• Having a shower out of a bucket
• Making a mad dash to plug in anything electrical as soon as there’s a hint of a power supply. This includes carrying my phone charger with me everywhere I go in case I get lucky and get to go to a meeting somewhere with a generator or electricity
• Sweeping up dead cockroaches. Thankfully I no longer see them alive because I obsessively spray insecticide every morning and every night
• Doing most of my food shopping by stopping people on the side of the road selling things out of baskets on the top of their heads
• Sitting in the dark
• Forgetting what it’s like to ‘hear’ silence
• Being stopped by every other person who walks past me and being asked for my phone number because they ‘want to be my friend’

My struggle with anonymity continues. This morning I was walking up the hill to catch a taxi. I wasn’t wearing anything revealing, just a normal knee length wrap around dress that I wear to work. A man on the opposite side of the road shouted at me, “White woman, why do you dress so? You make my heart bleed with love for you.” This was a very busy road. With a lot of people within earshot. As he was shouting it, a woman was walking towards me wearing what could only have been her nightdress. It was silk, and sheer. It left very very little to the imagination. And yet despite this, I was still the one that was attracting the attention. It takes some getting used to.

And finally. I reached my all time low the other night. I don’t think it’s possible for me to get any more disgusting. I was getting myself some Indomie (instant noodles) for dinner, and noticed that the packet had been eaten. By Ratty. Ratty had also eaten quite a lot of the noodles. I hadn’t eaten anything all day, the noodles were the only thing I had that I could eat, and it was too late/dark to go out on my own and try and buy something else. So I just cut around where Ratty had eaten, and cooked them anyway. Not the most enjoyable meal I have ever had. I am going to go and buy a sealed container that I can keep all my dried food in so that Ratty and I no longer need to share food. My volunteer allowance doesn’t stretch to feeding pets as well as myself.