I’ve learnt some crucial lessons this week:
1. Tinned mushrooms: I’ll never forget when I first got to Nigeria I was stood in a supermarket with Jen and we looked at tinned mushrooms in disgust. “Will we ever get that desperate for mushrooms?” we asked each other. “No, of course we won’t” we both agreed. Well, 8 months in and I got that desperate. And then wished I hadn’t even attempted to eat them, as they were so unpleasant I’m not convinced they won’t have put me off eating real mushrooms again. It was like what I would imagine biting into an eyeball would be like. Not good.
2. When being asked if you want to go to church on Sunday, if every part of your being is screaming, NO I don’t want to go, please don’t make me, then listen. Do not smile sweetly and say, “Yes of course, that would be lovely.” I felt compelled to say yes though because this invitation came after our morning prayers one Wednesday at work. Squirt had been particularly lively the night before, and it was fair to say I had had very very little sleep. Closing my eyes to pray was therefore a bad idea, as it got to that very embarrassing stage where you wake up to feel your head bouncing. Unfortunately it was the worst church service yet. Full of attempts to “convert” me – to what, I’m not too sure. I was asked if I was a born again Christian. I stupidly said no (I haven’t yet learnt the benefit of a white lie) and was subjected to a 20 minute lecture on how the world is a “very dangerous place for people like me”, followed by numerous attempts to find out my home address so he could come and “counsel me” (all new people to the church apparently have to endure this service). Whilst this was going on my camera was also stolen out of my bag. I was sat in the middle of a church. When I reported this, the person who had been set the task of “counselling me” told me I must be mistaken and that I must be forgetful and just have left it at home without realising it. What I wanted to say in response was: “I don’t think so, because whilst you were lecturing me on how dangerous the world was for me, I reached into my bag to search for my phone to see if time had actually stood still, and felt my camera, so I know it was there then”. But I managed to restrain myself. The services I went to in Calabar might have gone on for a long time, but I was left alone and the music was really good. I won’t be going back to this particular church. On the plus side, it was the first time I’ve ever sat in a church and watched television. When you see inside some of the churches here you stop wondering where a lot of the money in this country is going.
3. Taking a cat to the vet here is not a relaxing experience. Especially when you’re carrying him in a cardboard box and he keeps pushing his head out the top and trying to escape. I’m aware that quite a few people here are very weary of cats, and so I didn’t really want to advertise the fact I had a cat with me when I was trying to flag down a taxi, but that became slightly more difficult once I was actually in the taxi given Squirt kept pushing his head up to see where he was and howled at not being able to run free. But I managed to get him home in one piece (although my nerves were in slightly worse shape than they had been before) and he has now had his first inoculations. I’m not looking forward to repeating the whole experience in 1 month’s time but by then I plan on having a proper carry case for him so there’s less chance of him jumping out of the box in the middle of a very busy main road.
And something exciting: I’m going home for two weeks! It’s even more exciting because I wasn’t expecting it. My parents were going to come out here to visit me, but for various reasons, that turned out to not be possible. So I get to go home instead for an early Christmas. It’s come at a good time; a break at home and some headspace will be a welcome relief. Squirt is going to be in very capable hands as my housemate has very kindly offered to be on Demon Duty and look after him. In no particular order, the things I am most excited about when I get home:
• Seeing friends and family (obviously, this goes without saying)
• My sister making me macaroni cheese pizza. I feel cheated that for 28 years I didn’t know this concoction existed. My two favourite meals in one. It’s going to be a very good day.
• Feeling cold and sitting on the sofa in front of the fire.
• Drinking tea with real milk. No chewing involved as a result of the congealed lumps of milk powder collected at the bottom of the cup.
• Hot showers.
• Getting into bed and smelling clean, fresh sheets and sleeping on pillows that don’t feel as though they have been made from concrete.
• Having my hair sorted out.
• Walking down the street and being completely inconspicuous.
I plan on filling my bag with cat food, toys and flea and worm treatment on the way back. Then the day after I get back Jen will hopefully be coming to stay for a week, which is also super exciting.
No comments:
Post a Comment